U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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