they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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