ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
