i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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