She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize