You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
