i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
