He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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