do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
