Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
