Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
where are my eyebrows?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
