she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She announced her abortion via fbk
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
