you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
