Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
