It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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