I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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