She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
50% drunk capacity currently
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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