Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Randomize
