I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
