its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
