what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize