I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
