We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
