well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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