Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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