no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
