i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
