tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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