Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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