Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize