Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he told me I talked like a deaf person
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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