can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
