he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
