i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Randomize
