i don't like sucking hair
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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