Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
