why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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