Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
