it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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