You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
"it" just moved
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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