he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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