I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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