I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
