Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
