I hope mine doesn't look like that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
