Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
