That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize