Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
