im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
