And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
