Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
