I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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