so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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