It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
