But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
