Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
