True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
