just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
party gras won. party gras always wins.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
