my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
