You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
