Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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