Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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